A Day in the Life of a Stay at Home Mom

BEFORE NOON ANYWAY

Bruiser's up! Time to roll myself out of bed no matter how many times I woke up the night before. And when I get there, he's standing up in his crib for the first time! It makes me smile because he's growing so much. "Mommy!" And then there's Monk who always sounds so happy to see me in the morning. "I want strawberry milk."

Potty then Breakfast time. I don't remember the last time I used words like 'restroom' or 'bathroom'. But Monk goes without me telling him to which is a big triumph. I make breakfast, clean them up and eat their leftovers.

Monk likes to watch movies about now so I turn on Netflix since I can't stand cable. He still wants to watch Spongebob but I refuse. He's a parrot nowadays and I don't want him to mimic anything on that show. We choose Wonderpets instead.

I lug Bruiser around as I unload the dishwasher and make the bed, pulling off the pillowcases since I need to do a load of whites. I have to make a run to all the rooms of the house to get the vigilante dirty clothes and dishes that forgot to put themselves in the right place. Just as I've sprayed the last of the Shout on Bruiser's crib sheet Monk runs in and starts to climb the dryer. "I'm all done now, you need to get off." "NO!" A few 'nos' later and he's off to time for not listening and yelling at me.

Time for Bruiser's medicine that he doesn't like and ends up spitting all over me. And then: "AUGH! My nose! Owie!" What on earth is stuck up there? He's really upset. He hasn't done this in a long time. Since I had to call my husband home to help me. So I lay Monk on the bed and turn on the light and dig out my tweezers. Tweezers won't get it so I pinch one nostril and cover his mouth and tell him to blow. Mystery object shoots right on out. I'm still not sure what it is but I drop in the toilet and wash my hands for the third time this morning. We've only been up for a little over an hour.

He wants to watch more TV. I feel bad since every article I read says he shouldn't watch more than a couple hours tops a day. He'll want a movie after his nap. If he takes one. Are those picture hung crookedly? Geeez. I guess it doesn't matter because he keeps messing with the volume button connected to our speakers. A few no's later and he's back in time out. No more movies! Bruiser wants his jumper so I get a few minutes of quiet. If quiet includes 10 requests for a snack and movie...

Time for Bruiser's nap. He's been a happy little guy this morning. When he lays down I can get ready myself. It's hard to put on makeup and do my hair with two little guys pawing at me. So just Monk is awake. Except I don't know what's into him today. he might need a nap too because he's being really disobedient.

I notice the window is open and I wonder if our neighbors ever hear me yell at Monk. It doesn't happen often since he's usually such a good and easy little man. But that would be pretty red-neck of us and Monk usually runs around naked. If I put a pull up or underwear on him he'll pee or poop in it. If he wears nothing he always goes potty but usually gets the bottom of his shirt wet when he pees, so NAKED it is.

In between cleaning up after him and his break down it takes me a full 45 minutes to do my hair (kind of) and put on makeup. At least I don't look like I've rolled out of bed. I promised my husband I'd never be one of those wives that goes to the store in their pajama pants.

I make Monk a PB&J on a hamburger bun and this makes him happy. So I let him watch more Wonderpets. Bless the Wonderpets a this point. And if he watches a little extra TV today it's for my own good.

And it's 11am. So I'll see if Monk will take a nap too. This has been a harder morning but when Monk finally settles down he wants to hold hands and I see that they are so beautiful and so funny so individual.

And Monk, of course does not want to take a nap but he'll play quietly in his room for a little while which gives me the chance to read a little and wait for Bruise to wake up. And his little smile when he sees me is priceless.