Humbling Confession

So today Monk got into the ball pit and threw out the balls. They were all over the floor so I asked him to pick them up. He came up with excuse after excuse.

-I don't know how.
-I don't want to.
-I'm too tired.

Since he wouldn't do it I told him he could either pick up the balls or go to bed since he was so sleepy. Since he still wouldn't I followed through and picked him up and put him to bed and yelled at him to stay put. As soon as I closed the door he said he had to use the bathroom. SO frustrating! That's always what he says and irritates me so I told him he could stay put. After screaming he had to go for a couple more minutes my patience was up so I yelled at him to just go potty and come back.

He did, I made him go back to bed and a few minutes later he had calmed down enough to clean up his mess and all was well.

After lunch he told me his pants were wet and I asked him why.

"I had to pee and wasn't fast enough and you were yelling."
"Oh."

Yeah I felt bad. Not so much because I made him wait to go potty because he always uses that as an excuse when he's in time out, but more because I yelled at him and I remember in my family classes at school this quote, "Once you yell, you are the one that's wrong." So I'm going to try harder to be calmer with them.

But it's really hard sometimes...

Precious Time

"Life offers you two precious gifts--one is time, the other freedom of choice, the freedom to buy with your time what you will." - Elder Richard L. Evans

I first read this quote on one of my friends FaceBook pages and I've been thinking about it the last couple of weeks. Some might think that since I stay at home with my boys I have all kinds of time to do whatever I want. The truth is that there is always something that needs to be done or someone wanting me.

Another truth is that I have been really selfish with my time. Some mornings I've strapped my boys at the table for breakfast & would spend as much time as I could get playing stupid FB games looking for quiet. I didn't realize how much time those games could take up!

I haven't felt like I've been at my best and when Monk asked me to sit down with him for a movie I told him I was busy which is pretty inexcusable. So I decided a change was in order. I deleted all of my games.

I've always been pretty in touch with my mortality. Maybe I'm set to die young; who knows! My time has always seemed so finite to me and moments here are so precious. I've been that way since I've been with my husband. I think because at that moment I realized just how much I had to lose. Now I have my boys and there's so much in my life.

Anyway, dumb games became kind of my hobby. I thought that when I deleted them that I would miss them or feel like vegging out to play and I actually feel less stress, haha! It's all silly really but I do know that I don't want to waste my time when there is so much to enjoy right in my living room. And I've been looking forward to spending time with my boys. Especially now that there is some incredible weather! YAY for 80 degrees!